So, Nanowrimo began for us at midnight last night.
And so I began......
Watch. this. space. :D
Monday, October 31, 2011
Saturday, October 1, 2011
In the realm of all things...
Life has been a little less than wonderful of late.
There will no doubt be more on this, but the short story is cancer. The slightly longer story is that it is my husbands. The offshoot is fall out. No plans, no life, no control. Just this meaningless run of things happening all around me that I can barely keep track of.
But in the good news front, NaNoWriMo. :D
This year I am a Municipal Liaison. Yay! They even made the Wairarapa a new area. Now I have to get my wee thinking cap on for where and when to hold write-ins and stuff. :D
There will no doubt be more on this, but the short story is cancer. The slightly longer story is that it is my husbands. The offshoot is fall out. No plans, no life, no control. Just this meaningless run of things happening all around me that I can barely keep track of.
But in the good news front, NaNoWriMo. :D
This year I am a Municipal Liaison. Yay! They even made the Wairarapa a new area. Now I have to get my wee thinking cap on for where and when to hold write-ins and stuff. :D
Sunday, August 28, 2011
What's in a name?
The name is cursed! Cursed I tell you! Why should so many suffer in the same manner? All I can attribute it to is the name. Perhaps I shall change mine. But, what does one change it too? And more importantly, who the hell am I if I do?
Sunday, August 21, 2011
These 2 things...
I have these 2 memories that haunt me. One is so filled with hope, love, and desire. The other is filled with loss, separation and sadness.
The worst thing about them? They are a mere few minutes apart.
The first, I was held in his arms. I remember his scent, though, that will not be shared. I really have held his scent as almost sacred over the years. I don't think I have ever told anyone. But, it was faint, almost not there. If I had been further from him, it would have gone unnoticed. There were others nearby, but they faded into the background. All I could see was him.
Then I saw nothing, but I felt him breathing, him pull me in a little closer. At that moment, despite others, this was the one where my soul became entwined with his.
I know the moment ended. I know we parted. I know I boarded a bus. But, those details have gone.
The second memory is from the bus. It had been raining, sometime while this was all happening. The warm bodies had steamed up the windows. I found a seat, and wiped the glass clear. All I could see then was his red jacket in the mist. His left hand was in his pocket. He waved with the right.
The bus pulled away. My hand lingered on the window. He turned. My eyes welled up, and all I could see was the red jacket that I had come to love.
And that was it. The last time I saw him. Strangely, the second sad memory is made better by the first moment. We had a connection long before, and have remained friends since, but, that was a special moment we both held for all these years since.
Time has moved on, greatly. But, that was it. That was the time I knew that everything was going to be okay. That love was real, and that 2 people didn't need to share the years, or share ideals. All it takes is a moment of common understanding, where souls collide, intertwine and become one. And sometimes those moments happen when we least expect, and when parting is most certain, but perhaps that is why they are the most lasting, because we go into the moment knowing how important it may be.
So, all those years later, I still have the red jacket, the scent, and the realization that each moment can be that important.
IALYH <3
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad
The worst thing about them? They are a mere few minutes apart.
The first, I was held in his arms. I remember his scent, though, that will not be shared. I really have held his scent as almost sacred over the years. I don't think I have ever told anyone. But, it was faint, almost not there. If I had been further from him, it would have gone unnoticed. There were others nearby, but they faded into the background. All I could see was him.
Then I saw nothing, but I felt him breathing, him pull me in a little closer. At that moment, despite others, this was the one where my soul became entwined with his.
I know the moment ended. I know we parted. I know I boarded a bus. But, those details have gone.
The second memory is from the bus. It had been raining, sometime while this was all happening. The warm bodies had steamed up the windows. I found a seat, and wiped the glass clear. All I could see then was his red jacket in the mist. His left hand was in his pocket. He waved with the right.
The bus pulled away. My hand lingered on the window. He turned. My eyes welled up, and all I could see was the red jacket that I had come to love.
And that was it. The last time I saw him. Strangely, the second sad memory is made better by the first moment. We had a connection long before, and have remained friends since, but, that was a special moment we both held for all these years since.
Time has moved on, greatly. But, that was it. That was the time I knew that everything was going to be okay. That love was real, and that 2 people didn't need to share the years, or share ideals. All it takes is a moment of common understanding, where souls collide, intertwine and become one. And sometimes those moments happen when we least expect, and when parting is most certain, but perhaps that is why they are the most lasting, because we go into the moment knowing how important it may be.
So, all those years later, I still have the red jacket, the scent, and the realization that each moment can be that important.
IALYH <3
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad
Tuesday, May 3, 2011
Remembering`
His eyes are brown!
I don't remember them brown.
I remember them blue. Not as blue as my eyes. But blue.
What does this mean when I can't remember the eyes I first fell in love with? It's so confusing. I know I have not seen him for years, but, even with life moving on in different directions, the love is still there. Even as we both moved on to different marriages, the love remained.
But, his eyes are brown.
My heart feels like it is being torn in two. How can it be that I remember it wrong? Does it mean I remember the rest wrong as well? Maybe the love is not there anymore either? Maybe he is not what I remember? I just want to say to him, do you realise your eyes are brown?
Maybe I will.
I know that the whole thing makes no sense whatsoever. But, it was a sudden burst of adrenaline, to see something that I had so forgotten. Life has a way of removing the bad, and leaving the good. I guess it has a way of removing the insignificant, and leaving the important as well.
I don't remember them brown.
I remember them blue. Not as blue as my eyes. But blue.
What does this mean when I can't remember the eyes I first fell in love with? It's so confusing. I know I have not seen him for years, but, even with life moving on in different directions, the love is still there. Even as we both moved on to different marriages, the love remained.
But, his eyes are brown.
My heart feels like it is being torn in two. How can it be that I remember it wrong? Does it mean I remember the rest wrong as well? Maybe the love is not there anymore either? Maybe he is not what I remember? I just want to say to him, do you realise your eyes are brown?
Maybe I will.
I know that the whole thing makes no sense whatsoever. But, it was a sudden burst of adrenaline, to see something that I had so forgotten. Life has a way of removing the bad, and leaving the good. I guess it has a way of removing the insignificant, and leaving the important as well.
Saturday, April 2, 2011
And yet another....
Well. Yes.
It's been a hard week. I hate hard weeks.
Not helped with the great news of the birth and subsequent naming of children of friends of mine. Also not helped by the miracle pregnancy and birth of twins for a comedian I once worked with.
I really feel so happy for them, but a part of me is always angry and jealous. I try so hard to tell myself that I'm better off this way, without the worries, being able to spend my money on whatever I feel like, all that kind of thing. But, it hurts.
Other than that, it's been just plain hard.
It's been a hard week. I hate hard weeks.
Not helped with the great news of the birth and subsequent naming of children of friends of mine. Also not helped by the miracle pregnancy and birth of twins for a comedian I once worked with.
I really feel so happy for them, but a part of me is always angry and jealous. I try so hard to tell myself that I'm better off this way, without the worries, being able to spend my money on whatever I feel like, all that kind of thing. But, it hurts.
Other than that, it's been just plain hard.
Thursday, March 31, 2011
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