I am a writer.... am I a writer?

Basically, it is the inner torment of my life. 

I am a writer.  When words flow from my fingertips, I feel this rush.  I feel like for the first time, I am creating something, forming something, being omnipotent (as the washing and vacuuming piles up behind me).

But, then, it all ends.  I stop writing.  Life gets in the way.  I don't know where to turn, and I end up working on the philosophy of that song, "Oh, so lovely sitting absobloominglutely still.... I would never break til spring, crept over the windowsill"....  And I do, I find myself sitting, without moving, shunning the outside world, longing to be in my virtual world of make believe, but afraid to cross the divide.

I don't know why I feel this way?  Somehow, I should KNOW that when I am writing, I am alive.  But, almost like a creepy vine, something stops me from moving ahead.  I become afraid, paralysed by it.  It takes all my strength to escape the clutches of apathy, and move forward. 

So, I have this constant struggle, a fear of failure, of not being good enough, of just not being wise, and it stops me from actually writing.  The irony is this, by not doing, I prove to myself that I am a failure, I am not good enough, and I lack wisdom. 

Today I promise myself.  I will write everyday.  No matter what.  Whether it is good, bad or indifferent.  Surely I can carve out a few minutes from my still-sitting lifestyle to write something. ;)

Nanowrimo!

So, Nanowrimo began for us at midnight last night.

And so I began......


Watch. this. space.  :D

In the realm of all things...

Life has been a little less than wonderful of late.

There will no doubt be more on this, but the short story is cancer.  The slightly longer story is that it is my husbands.  The offshoot is fall out.  No plans, no life, no control.  Just this meaningless run of things happening all around me that I can barely keep track of.

But in the good news front, NaNoWriMo.  :D

This year I am a Municipal Liaison.  Yay!  They even made the Wairarapa a new area.  Now I have to get my wee thinking cap on for where and when to hold write-ins and stuff.  :D

 

And now, I am a published freelance writer

Yes, the world of published internet writing guru is mine.

Or at least, one step to world domination is here.

Follow the link to my article.... ha!  Yes. I am proud.

All aboard the Pacific Sun

And I have a new job!

Well..... yes.  I applied for a job..... and I got it.  Oddly enough....

I am now officially a free-lance writer.

Can I be a free-lance writer officially without earning anything yet?  Who knows.  I think I can be anyway.  So, I am a writer............ well......... I was a writer before.  And I have been published, so that is enough to say I have been paid in the past for my words on paper. :D

But this is all new.

I had to submit my resume.  I did that.  And then some samples of my writing.  Being lazy, I submitted my writings that are still available online.  Yay!  And then I got the email back saying I had been accepted. 

This is cool. 

I have the possibility of being paid for doing just what I am doing right here, right now.  :D  Only, I have to watch my grammar and spelling.  Here, well, here I can put in smilies and stuff and use too many ands in a sentence and start on a conjunction!  Whoop!  (I live on the wild side)

So, I wrote an article about a cruise ship I traveled on recently..... I hope it gets accepted.  Then I can feel cool.  Yes.  Cool.  Soon I shall write an article on Fiji perhaps, I loved Fiji.... and Vanuatu.... and possibly Norfolk Island.  Then I shall review the cruise ship I'm going on in December.  And I shall review New Caledonia.... good lord!  I think I'm a travel writer!  Shit.  I may have to start traveling widely!

But..........  What the hell do I want to write about on the regular?  God knows!  I certainly don't.  But I shall see what I can do.