Sunday, August 29, 2010

Thoughts 'n' stuff

The universe is a crazy place.  Just when you think you know yourself or others, a curve ball gets thrown, and everything wobbles on its axis just a little.  The disturbance rattles gravity, and I lose my footing.


I have not always been a swimmer, but since I learnt a few years ago, I have totally come to believe that I belong in the water.  It is the one time that I feel totally free, at one with myself, and graceful.  Nothing else matters when I am swimming, it's just me, my thoughts, and the water.  Bliss.  But I can't seem to swim anymore.  Last week I kept sinking.  This week, well, I was lapped in the pool, and could only kick with one leg.  Not amusing at all.  I just wanted me back, and somehow, me is a long way from home.

This disturbance continued with crazy conversations with friends, all of which have caused me to re-evaluate how I see them.  And how I see myself.  Why would it be that I would have to sign over my entire life, body and dreams because someone else makes a decision?  That's how it felt when my husband mentioned having kids.  When I was ready, he wasn't.  Then it became apparent that this wasn't going to happen for me, so I resigned myself to my own life.  Now he wants to change everything on a whim.  I don't know how I feel about it, so I am dwelling on it.

And in smaller notes, I do not know where I stand with other so-called friends, who have literally down-graded my position with them.  I am a little confused to say the least.  To the point where it seems that I only exist to be there when no one else is.

Maybe that is my role.  To be the person one comes to in crisis.  And the rest of the time, gravity is trying to sink my battleship.

Thursday, August 26, 2010

The busy life

Well, life certainly has been busy if nothing else.  Getting back into the full swing of work has been crazy-hard, much more than I would have expected.  I still want to get my old life back, and I am clawing it back slowly, but it is certainly hard yakka.  The foot is still sore, but I am trying not to let it get me down.

And that is pretty much it.  I am trying to get back into the swing of working for a living!  Tragical really.  Have not played the ukulele or walked the dogs, but all good things come to those who wait I believe, so this is to be hoped for.

Saturday, August 14, 2010

Hello interneters

I was blogging not that long ago, and realised something rather amazing.  I write a lot.  And what I write is all about what I do.... not necessarily something that I feel like writing.  So, the genius moment came as my fever broke this afternoon, start another blog!  The internet is large enough for another blog on the market.... and why not make it about whatever I feel like writing about.  This will no doubt change and mutate over time.

So, who am I? (And more importantly, who cares?)

I am technically a teacher, a published author and poet, performer, musician, dreamer and room-messy-er from way back when.  I have beagles.... one of them is watching my type this.... and freaking me out more than a little.  The other one is having an epic battle of the minds with me, as she is determined to be the pack leader.... but I saw the Dog Whisperer on Oprah.... he had the shirt with Pack Leader on it.  I am the pack leader.... and she shall conform to my will.... or something.  Maybe.  Battle of the wills none-the-less.

I have a podcast with my buddy Rickus.... "Barely Bodacious: Finally Full Frontal".... and after 3 episodes, we have hit our stride.... ranting about stuff and generally going on about things that are important to us.  It brings back all the good times in University Radio.... I'll throw in a link in case you wish to listen to the awesome that is us.

I have also recently broken my ankle... good times.  Had surgery for the first time.  And I got myself an epic scar, 8 screws and a piece of titanium.  I met some great ladies in the hospital, Janet and Lorna (Both in their 90's, so I felt particularly young and virile in their presence).  Between the 3 of us we had the party room, and flirted with the surgeons.  On one night, the nurses gave us all these opiate pain-killers (we were in the orthopedic ward).... and we chatted to all sorts of people.  I had an argument with my trainer and a unicorn... neither of which were present at 3 in the morning!  Following breakfast the 3 of us were very quiet, and felt the world was spinning very very slowly.  Maybe I should blog about the other experiences with hospital?  Maybe.  Either way, the 2 lovely ladies taught me a lot about people, life, living, laughing and seeing the bright side.  It was kinda a shame to leave the hospital.

So this will be the first of many blogs.... all on subjects that may differ completely.... but we shall indeed see.  Maybe some pictures would be nice to round this thing off.

Blair and I..... I'm the one with the thumb

My beagles- Spice is the ginger one, Rosie is the black one.