Saturday, October 30, 2010



I signed up for it.  And now, starting tomorrow, I will write a novel in 30 days.  What?  Really?


But why the heck not.

I do not plan to plan or think or do anything but churn out the worst novel ever written.  Period.  Oh yes.
That is the plan.


I'm kinda excited.  Kinda nervous.  And I don't want to fail.  But 50,000 words is a lot.  Even for me.

But I shall keep you posted.

Tuesday, October 26, 2010


So, this is my vent-blog.  Okay.  I'm down with that.

Okay.  So, I try to do my job.  And everyone else's jobs.  And try to make the show the best show we have had for years and years.  What thanks do I get?  Well.... none.  Just stress and hate and a lack of understanding and tears.

I don't think I'm capable enough to do this well. 

Or I don't think I'm capable of being the object of hatred that others see in me.

I don't like the tears.  My skin is not thick.  My heart is not frozen.  My soul is not strong enough.  I end up just sitting here, thinking of a metaphorical cliff that I can send myself off of.  And trying to find a way to make the others understand why the things were the way they were.

And try to remember that sticks and stones may break my bones....

Saturday, October 23, 2010

I'm happy for you... Really

There's that scene in "Julie and Julia" where Julia gets the letter from her sister, saying she is pregnant. Then she cries.

I get that.

And I hate it.

When I find out an old friend is pregnant or had a baby, I cry and get mad and angry. I'm happy for them. But disappointed with the universe for letting me down.

I may never have children. And given my increasing age, I should stop wanting them, as risks to their health increase.

But logic doesn't heal a broken heart.

Thursday, October 21, 2010

And now, I am a published freelance writer

Yes, the world of published internet writing guru is mine.

Or at least, one step to world domination is here.

Follow the link to my article.... ha!  Yes. I am proud.

All aboard the Pacific Sun

And I have a new job!

Well..... yes.  I applied for a job..... and I got it.  Oddly enough....

I am now officially a free-lance writer.

Can I be a free-lance writer officially without earning anything yet?  Who knows.  I think I can be anyway.  So, I am a writer............ well......... I was a writer before.  And I have been published, so that is enough to say I have been paid in the past for my words on paper. :D

But this is all new.

I had to submit my resume.  I did that.  And then some samples of my writing.  Being lazy, I submitted my writings that are still available online.  Yay!  And then I got the email back saying I had been accepted. 

This is cool. 

I have the possibility of being paid for doing just what I am doing right here, right now.  :D  Only, I have to watch my grammar and spelling.  Here, well, here I can put in smilies and stuff and use too many ands in a sentence and start on a conjunction!  Whoop!  (I live on the wild side)

So, I wrote an article about a cruise ship I traveled on recently..... I hope it gets accepted.  Then I can feel cool.  Yes.  Cool.  Soon I shall write an article on Fiji perhaps, I loved Fiji.... and Vanuatu.... and possibly Norfolk Island.  Then I shall review the cruise ship I'm going on in December.  And I shall review New Caledonia.... good lord!  I think I'm a travel writer!  Shit.  I may have to start traveling widely!

But..........  What the hell do I want to write about on the regular?  God knows!  I certainly don't.  But I shall see what I can do.

Monday, October 18, 2010


Well... I have some bad stomach cramps.... and yes.... I am venting about it on the internet.  Nothing good comes from stomach cramps..... ever.  I don't know who understands out there, but when you can't walk for the pain, and you can't think straight.... and then the vomiting starts, well..... nothing good anywho.

I hate and loathe and detest it.


But I keep telling myself I will get through it.

Then they start showing malnourished babies on the tv.  And I can't think about myself.  And somehow through the pain, there is some need to carry on, and find a way through.  I may have issues, but nothing that will kill me today.

Saturday, October 9, 2010

I have a problem....

Actually.... several.

But the most pressing one is about blogs..... I have become addicted to blogging, reading blogs, looking for blogs, commenting on blogs.... ARGH!

I may have lost my mind completely.  But it did get me out of painting the spare room.... or sewing more costumes.  Both are things that REALLY needed to be done.  Poos.

On that note, I should get back to sewing some large bows.