I have these 2 memories that haunt me. One is so filled with hope, love, and desire. The other is filled with loss, separation and sadness.
The worst thing about them? They are a mere few minutes apart.
The first, I was held in his arms. I remember his scent, though, that will not be shared. I really have held his scent as almost sacred over the years. I don't think I have ever told anyone. But, it was faint, almost not there. If I had been further from him, it would have gone unnoticed. There were others nearby, but they faded into the background. All I could see was him.
Then I saw nothing, but I felt him breathing, him pull me in a little closer. At that moment, despite others, this was the one where my soul became entwined with his.
I know the moment ended. I know we parted. I know I boarded a bus. But, those details have gone.
The second memory is from the bus. It had been raining, sometime while this was all happening. The warm bodies had steamed up the windows. I found a seat, and wiped the glass clear. All I could see then was his red jacket in the mist. His left hand was in his pocket. He waved with the right.
The bus pulled away. My hand lingered on the window. He turned. My eyes welled up, and all I could see was the red jacket that I had come to love.
And that was it. The last time I saw him. Strangely, the second sad memory is made better by the first moment. We had a connection long before, and have remained friends since, but, that was a special moment we both held for all these years since.
Time has moved on, greatly. But, that was it. That was the time I knew that everything was going to be okay. That love was real, and that 2 people didn't need to share the years, or share ideals. All it takes is a moment of common understanding, where souls collide, intertwine and become one. And sometimes those moments happen when we least expect, and when parting is most certain, but perhaps that is why they are the most lasting, because we go into the moment knowing how important it may be.
So, all those years later, I still have the red jacket, the scent, and the realization that each moment can be that important.
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